My Spouse is Committing Adultery. What are My Next Steps?


Finding out your spouse is committing adultery is absolutely devastating. Your world, as you know it, changes. It not only affects you and possibly your livelihood but your children’s as well. Some of the rushing questions across the minds of many of those facing this situation are “How do I protect myself and my children?” and “What do I do next?”. Below are the first steps in moving forward and taking control of your future:spouse is cheating

  • Keep calm, be rational and don’t talk about it recklessly. Only share this information with someone who has your up most trust and is only concerned for your best interest (mother/father, best friend, counselor). It’s easy to get caught up in all the emotions that come with finding out your spouse is committing adultery but, be strong and you won’t regret it!
  • Don’t confront your spouse. It’s very difficult not to immediately confront your spouse and demand an explanation and apology. But if you want to truly stand up for yourself and take control of the situation, avoid confrontation. If you don’t, he/she will be on the lookout and proving their affair will become very difficult.
  • Hire an experienced Attorney. Yes, it’s expensive but it’s an investment in your future and your children’s. Whether you are the supporting spouse or you are being supported, it’s worth it! An attorney will be your legal support system who will coach you through the divorce proceedings. Listen to them. They have the knowledge and experience in this field and they want you to win!
  • Hire an experienced and licensed Private Investigator (PI). Many attorneys will require you to hire a PI to take on your case as you need proof from a 3rd party that your spouse is truly cheating. Taking pictures of your spouse’s text messages with their adulterer/adulteress is not enough proof. You will need evidence showing your spouse is committing adultery through means of  opportunity (staying overnight at the paramour’s house or at a hotel).  A PI has the knowledge, know-how and the equipment to do this for you the right way.  Again, it isn’t cheap. But, having this proof can set you up for a win in court preventing future financial heartache.
  • Be strong, courageous and think positive about your future! Going through a divorce is grueling and the heartbreak can be unbearable. BUT, you will recover if you get the right help and take care of yourself.

If your spouse is committing adultery and you want to talk with an experienced and licensed Private Investigator, call Stillinger Investigations at 803-400-1974 today!  All first-time consultations are free. Our SI team understands the seriousness of your case and we will work diligently to get the proof you need and deserve.